Who doesn't love an invitation? The best feeling is when I open my email or get a text and there is an invitation to spend time with my friends or family. It is a moment of validation and acceptance. Someone is thinking of me and values my presents. Invitations are gifts and make me feel special.
That got me thinking...isn't life in an invitation? To quote Prince, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." Every morning I thank God for another day. What a miracle that we are all invited to the biggest party - LIFE! My question to myself is how will I show up today? Will I get distracted by busy work? Focus on what I don't have? Feel like everything is a struggle? Perhaps instead, I work on being present and ask Jesus to be present with me. I know I write about my relationship with Jesus a lot but it has been a game changer for me. If you catch me talking to myself I am probably asking Jesus what he thinks :)
I changed by developing a relationship with Jesus. I grew up a strong headed, fiery Italian. I was always right as were my opinions. I was offended if you did not agree with me and mind would not stop racing until I could prove to myself that I was right. It is exhausting to think about. So many years of torturing myself. Through my meditation and prayer I can pause, take a breath or two and ask Jesus what he thinks. I can tell the difference between my ego and my authentic truth. If I am not sure what to do, I simply let it go until an answer is revealed to me.
I recently got a double ear infection and sinus infection. Two rounds of antibiotics and prednisone because of hearing loss. I went to my bi-monthly oncologist appointment and I was really sick. I told my doctor that I had plans to go on a European vacation in a month. This would be our first family vacation since my leukemia diagnosis 18 months ago. Everything was planned and booked...basically a dream vacation. Dr. Olin looked at me and said, Lori, you have been really sick. I think this vacation is something you should reconsider. I wasn't angry, I was really sad. I started talking to Jesus. I wasn't bargaining or begging to go. I went to a place of gratefulness, faith and trust. I told God that I would love to go but I understand if I couldn't. I would send my family, hysterical crying, without me. I was not going to take this experience away from them...and my husband really needs a vacation. I stayed in the moment and focused not on going on the trip but getting better. After taking the antibiotics, prednisone and seeing my ears throat and nose specialist I started feeling a little bit better. My ENT said that he did not have a problem with me flying and I wrote to Dr. Olin for the final decision. I gave her the facts and did not try to plea my case. If she was still against me going, the trip for me was off. I sent her an email and an hour later she responded that if I felt up to it then I should go.
That is when I could hear Jesus...you will be with your family on this trip. It started out as a faint whisper until I heard YOU ARE GOING GIRL! I remember what Father Greg told me in the hospital. God wants you to be happy with your family.
If you are breathing, you are invited. How will you show up today? Pay attention, the host of the party is trying to get your attention and has something really important to tell you.
Happy Summer! Looking forward to sharing some photos of my trip when I get back. Love to you all.