Why Did I Get Cancer
Updated: Apr 29, 2019
Now that you know a bit about my cancer journey I often wonder why I got Leukemia. Was it because I was around so many chemicals as a hairstylist? Did I put too much Splenda in my coffee? The Benadryl to help me fall asleep? Stress? Mentally beating myself up to be better? What I ate? Drinking too much? The sunscreen that I use? Genetics? Or just bad f@#*ing luck. Who knows, the list is endless and could be a combination of everything or none at all. I will never know why I got cancer but I do know that I can make good choices that create change. Mediation and prayer is a huge part of my healing but so is what I put on and in my body.
A couple of years ago my friend Stephanie asked me if I wanted to try Beautycounter. My first reaction was UGH. Isn't that the company where they try to get people to sell skin care products at home and have parties. I am so not into that but I do like to support friends so I bought some products and gave it a try. I had to admit I LOVED the skin care line because the moisturizers felt light and not greasy. I then started trying the make-up and loved that too! After I came home from the hospital I was on house arrest for 100 days. My immune system was very weak and prone to infection. The only people I saw was my nurse, which was mandatory by my oncologist, and my family. When people came around me they had to wear a mask and could not get near me if they were sick. It was the first time that I took care of myself by saying no to seeing people. I was committed to my recovery and did exactly what the doctors told me to do. During that time I received so many beautiful cards and gifts such as blankets, robes, books, rosary beads, socks, sweat pants and shirts, hats, journals, pillows, the list goes on. Thank you, you know who you are. My friend Jen, another consultant, sent me a basket of Beautycounter products. It was such a generous offering and I was really able to try a lot of the products. I was hooked on everything, from moisturizer to makeup. I started writing this blog and Jen reached out to me about being a consultant. I was pretty honest with her and told her it wasn't my gig but was open to hearing more about the company. I wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to spend some time with my friend either. I started reading about the company and the change that Beautycounter is creating in the beauty industry. I loved the idea of using clean products on my skin. Why not use a product that I feel good about? Then I started thinking of my 14 year old daughter who is obsessed with makeup from Walgreens to Sephora. My daughter is really good about using cleansing cremes and acne medication but what is she actually putting on her skin? I started making the connection of safe ingredients and our health. I won't bore you with too many details but the US only bans 30 potentially harmful ingredients while the EU bans 1400 ingredients. Why is that? Beautycounter is trying to change the laws and I am all for positive change. I decided to become a Beautycounter consultant. Yep, I did it and if you are interested in learning more about Beautycounter, no pressure, send me an email. I would love to talk to you about the great products. Want to talk hair color, meditation or prayer? I would love to talk to you about that too. Here is my link to my page.
I will never know why I got cancer but how I chose to move forward is what makes the difference. I could have been bitter and pissed off and gone back to the way I was living. I chose to be broken open to my true purpose in life. I am not saying that I am perfect, believe me when I say that everyday I hear that nagging voice inside my head saying whats next? WHAT'S NEXT!?!? Should I be looking for a job? Why isn't that company calling me back? Why don't they want me? Why isn't God showing me what to do? I have decided to close the doors to the past and when God opens another door for me I will be ready. Mediation will help me to see the open door and the beautiful opportunities that awaits. God is showing me what to do and if I am truly in the moment I can see very clearly that what I am meant to do is tell my story and write.
What about you? What is God showing you?