What Would You Do if Fear Was Not a Factor?
Updated: Nov 13, 2021
After I was newly separated, a book called Untamed by Glennon Doyle landed in my lap. Great book. As I was reading, I felt as if she was writing about me. Don't all great books do that? Glennon writes about how to take care of ourselves and trust our inner voice. If you have been following my blog, I am all about listening to my inner voice. She also writes about her choice to leave her husband. One of the questions Glennon asks is, What would you do if fear was not a factor? Wow! I paused. It made me think. What would I do if fear was not a factor?
I came to find I needed to understand fear first. Have you seen the movie, "Luca?" I won't give it away but I will tell you Luca faces his fears. Fears are those voices in your head that say you are not good enough, smart enough, talented enough. The voice that tells you with a smirk on his face, you can't do that! Why are you even trying? It's happening to me right now as I write. I am afraid, fear, of making a mistake. Luca names his fear Bruno. When he hears those shaming voices, he says, Silencio Bruno! I have adopted the name and also call my ego Bruno. Silencio Bruno! It reminds me to come back to the present moment and put things into perspective.
Just to be clear, fear has an important role to ward off danger. This is not the fear I am talking about. I am talking about the fear that makes me doubt myself. The fear that keeps me stuck in the same pattern. I had to learn how to let go of fear. How did I do that? I had to let go of the outcome. How do I let go of the outcome? I found faith and trusted that God has the perfect plan for me, always. So what would I do if fear was not a factor? For one, I found the courage to get a divorce, and was the scariest thing I have ever done. My inner knowing voice and Bruno were constantly battling because I did not understand which voice to listen to. I just thought I was crazy. The great thing about life is no matter what decision you make, God will always get you back on track. How cool is that? I'm an empath so I don't want to throw my ex under the bus. I have to sincerely say I don't regret anything I have done in my past. It's a cliche but everything happens for a reason.
I now ask you, What would you do if fear was not a factor? My friends Jen and Bob decided to rent their home in Napa and move to San Diego. Another friend left her full-time job to start a cookie company. For me, this question is liberating to think anything is possible. I love writing and would have never thought I would have a blog or start my memoir. I know I love it because when I write it feels good. I feel it in my heart this is what I am supposed to do. It's a resounding yes. As I sit at my desk to write, Bruno pulls up a chair and patiently sits with me. I don't push Bruno away. He is welcome because he is part of me, but when he gets out of hand I am not worried because I have my ammunition. Silencio Bruno!