Patience

Writing about my leukemia story can be emotional so I am going to take a break, don't worry I will get back to it. I want to talk about patience and would love to hear your feedback. Patience is a tough one for me. When I want something I want it now! I sound like Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Good news is I am working on patience on a daily basis. How do you deal with patience? When I pushed for something in the past and I got it, It didn't really make me happy. Why does my mind get so distracted and focus on the future. This is one of reasons why I was not happy before my diagnosis. The grass looked greener on the other side. Everyone had what I wanted. An example is I am currently waiting for a position with the company I used to work for. I'm sure many of you can relate to this especially when you are looking for a job. I start to obsess over what the job would be like, look like, feel like, ectera. I wrote out a job description of what I would be doing, basically I created a list of my dream job within the company. Don't get me wrong I think that its important to become clear on exactly what you want and the universe with respond to that. The hard part is to let it go or a better phrase is let it be and have faith. Is it possible that God will give me what I am asking for? Maybe, God is going to create something bigger, better than anything I can dream of. The hard part is waiting...Patience. So I am back to where I started. The hard part for me is to be present just for today, this moment. This moment writing to you is real. As my friend Ti says to me is, "All we have is this moment." I am living the beauty of right now. As I write, I hear my daughter playing the guitar, my son is on the phone laughing his ass off, my dog is sleeping by my feet and my husband is silently working in the kitchen. Right now at this moment life is good because I have my health and I can experience it all. Maybe this the dream that God has created for me. The life that I truly want.